Everything Summer Blog

No Power: Is It Summer Camp?

Many people were left without power this past week after a freaky October snowstorm. The lack of power was exceptionally inconvenient and in some cases dangerous. Non-working traffic lights, tree debris, downed wires caused accidents. Schools and businesses were closed. Halloween was cancelled or postponed in many communities. Could there possibly be a silver lining?

Friends opened their hearts and homes to others, offering beds, showers, chargers, food, and heat to those without. Their generosity inspired others to do the same once they got back power. Neighbors who usually are too busy to interact made time to commiserate and keep each other apprised of news and progress. Strangers sat in Starbucks and shared tips on keeping warm and communicating with the utility companies.

Deprived of video games, television and internet access, families spent a lot of together time. Board games were played. People read by flashlight. Older children helped take care of younger children - both siblings and friends of the family. Everybody was more patience with each other (except those that really weren't). Meals had to be planned and eaten together. Hair was not blown dry, and no make-up was applied. It became apparent to everyone what was really important - family, friends, and of course, heat, light and food.

It was a frustrating and uncomfortable week for all those that lost power, and it was an experience that no one wants to repeat (there is a run on generators!!). On the other hand, many children wait all year until they can go to summer camp, counting each day until they can get on the bus and reunite with their friends and counselors, their summer family. Yet, some of the things that make summer camp so special are the lack of electronics, the shared mealtimes, and the older children taking care of younger ones. Of course, camp is a lot more - great activities, exciting experiences, etc. But, many of the things that make camp special are less obvious - the send of community, the simplicity of life, shared communal activities, the responsibility and pride in caring for younger children emulating older ones.

Although everyone wants to forget the last week with no power as quickly as they cam, perhaps we should try to remember some of it.

The Night Before Summer Camp

The last night home before leaving for sleepaway camp conjures up rituals and memories, as a parent, child and even the summer camp expert here. And tonight is that night for me.

Whether your child is going off to camp for the first time, successive summers, or his or her final summer, it is emotional and memorable for everyone. Having lived through so many of these nights, I share my memories and lessons learned, to make it easier for others:

• Share their favorite foods - of course! My kids would often have different requests. So we would bring in from their favorite restaurants. For others it is a special meal a child and/or parent prepares.
• Do a family activity - in our case, movies have been a family bond that ties all of us together. So we'd pick the latest new film (when they were young) and be sure we saw it as a family that last night together. As tastes matured, we moved onto independent films.
• Pack their knapsack together - whether kids go off to camp via a bus, car, plane or train, there remain always a few items that did not get packed in their trunk. Or more importantly, there are some special or personal items you want them to have en route to camp. In our case, it was a new family photo book that included family and close friends, a treasured stuffed animal or comfort item they could use if they wanted to feel close to home or us, favorite music (remember no electronics with video abilities are allowed), favorite dvds to share with the bunk when allowed during movie night (the camp office would hold), snack/gum (remember, they take these away when the kids arrive, so do NOT go overboard with this), book, specialty magazines, any last minute clothes, etc. Remember, they have to be able to carry this knapsack themselves!
• Write a special note - and pack it in their knapsack yourself. My kids cherished these. Notes of encouragement and love go far.
• Talk about happy times and how wonderful camp is - no negative, or 'child sick' talk allowed! This is not the time to talk about important things you forgot to mention. Kids need their parents support and happiness as they go off to camp. If your kids show anxieties, it is normal; be reassuring. You can call the camp in the morning after you drop off your kids to alert them of any last minute conversations of which they should be aware.

Developing rituals around this night will become something all of you look forward to and cherished memories as you and your child reminisce about their camp years.

What are you last-night-before-camp rituals?

The Last Pre-Summer Family Weekend

I choked up when I read yesterday's NY Times article about The Getaway Car, a father's recollection of a final trip with his daughter pre-college. I am sure all parents with teens did.

But thankfully, for the millions of kids who go to overnight camp each summer, their - and their parents - prep for the home-to-college transition - starts early. I remember starting the camp rite of passage with my kids and thinking, wow, college is next! With at least 10 years in between:). It did help for everyone.

What I took away from this article was let your kids separate on their own, and find other things to keep you busy. If you did your job well, they will be excited and transition well. Of course there may be some small speed bumps along the way, but summer camp experiences do create a strong foundation.

Don't run to solve their quandries; rather offer a (your) perspective, and let them digest it. Either they will embrace it on their own, or discard it for their own, which may or may not work. But that is okay; because skinned knees are life lessons.

Take the time to familiarize yourself with their new world; don't judge. Because if you want to be part of their new home, you need to accept their terms and parameters. Remember this is their experience, not yours.

Camp Trunks

As a summer camp expert - and expert camp trunk packer - every year at this time two things happen: I get nostalgic of packing my more than 30+ camper trunks (not to mention the college trunk packing); and my clients ask for me for inside tips.

While it is a great deal of work, it is also an act of love. I remember the painstaking care I took labeling everything (including my insane need to label q-tips boxes as if the kids wouldn't share???), organizing and packing everything in ziploc bags, writing on each the contents and quantity inside, finding the exact center of the trunk of blankets and comforters to waddle and protect my kids tennis racquets. And one never broke!

When I recently shared my memory of this past weekend with my son - the second weekend in June was always the last weekend to finish everything up since trunks would have to be outside the house before dawn the next day (as well as the day of our town's biggest race for education that my husband and I co-produced) - he smirked. He remembers the excitement and countdown to the end of school and the start of camp; my countdown and memories surrounded the packing, prep and pre-camp activities we always planned - a tradition!

I remember telling my kids where I packed certain items so they could readily find them at camp. My kids laughed at my preciseness and organization, but their counselors thanked me every year as this made unpacking at camp and packing at the end so much easier. (So there!) 

I smile now because once the trunks left, I knew we would then have up to two weeks of fun and special times before they departed. With no worries of packing until the last day. Having the rituals and stress earlier made the final pre-camp days blissful. And I always knew they were leaving for the happiest time and place for them: their home away from home, overnight camp!

Campers Reunite Nearly 5 Decades Later

As a summer camp expert, advocate, and spokesperson, I seek out camp stories everywhere. They feed my passion! This one is close to my heart, as it includes my friend and the state where my own kids went to overnight camp, Maine.

I recently attended the reunion of 20+ camp friends in NYC where they waxed nostalgically and emotionally about their summers at Camp Eastwood in Maine. A core group has remained in touch, actually a girls bunk. Imagine that; four women who have lived their lives, raised their kids, reside in different areas, but find a common bond that is unbreakable - their childhood at overnight camp in Maine.

            

I loved what they had to share:

 "I think so much is about friendships, traditions, and acceptance you found in a setting as a child. The feeling you got from it. So much of their memories centered around the lake. And many of them chose to send their kids back to Maine because of what they had. " They were all so emotional, and rightfully so. I recall one even met her husband at camp.

How rare it is to find camp friends united decades later, yet it is not uncommon. For overnight camp forms an unbreakable bond that once made, it lasts forever.  

Here's to all the campers of yesteryear and all current campers to carry on the best friendships and camp traditions and memories!

Teen Volunteerism: Helping vs Resume Building

OK. I know volunteerism is a very hot topic amongst teens, parents, educators and colleges. I deal with this almost daily when advising teens on their service efforts.

This past Sunday's New York Times Education Life covered a wide number of pre-college topics. The one that resonated a great deal with me was: Does Helping Out Help You?. In it Pamela Paul shares highlights of her interviews with various, prestigious college admissions directors. Their conclusions mirror many of mine when it comes to meaningful service efforts, which also apply to meaningful teen summers:

• Consistency and depth of experience trumps a short term stint
• Admissions directors can readily spot volunteer involvement insincerity
• Think 'commitment,' 'leadership,' 'passion'
• Credibility comes from being 'engaged', and being involved with 'meaningful' work that can 'transform'

Students should always try to do what comes naturally, not force fit an activity. Padding a resume with "stealth activities" is not the answer, per Stanford's Director of Admission. I always counsel teens to perform service work if it has meaning to them, in a form they are comfortable with, and in depth. Start such efforts in your own backyard, school or community. For service ideas and support, teens should check out Do Something , a nonprofit organization that promotes teen volunteerism. If a teen proves to him/herself there is a genuine need and interest locally (or virtually), then consider moving onto summer service efforts offering progressive opportunities. Many camps are also now incorporating service into their programming and activities.

Greater growth, fulfillment and sincerity of truly helping others results from consistency, invested time and service projects that also resonate with a teen's passions.  You can't mask authenticity.

Thank You!

Okay, I am one of those people who ends most sentences with 'thank you.' It's really automatic. I thought I'd ask you, do you say 'thank you' enough (especially this time of year)?

This recent USA Today article, Final Word: Make a note to be grateful every day, made me stop to think about all the things and people I am grateful for. I am not being sappy; just honest. I guess I have reached the point in my life that I wake up each day thankful for the health and happiness of my family, friends and colleagues. I feel so fortunate to have daily purpose; and especially grateful I can make a difference in people's lives.

There used to be a movie preview commercial that said something along the lines of people won't remember how big your house was or how fancy your cars were.....And this was before our latest recession. Boy were they right. I don't take anything for granted; nor do I really want for anything. It's not that I have so many worldly possessions; it's that I am rich in what matters - health, family, marriage, children, wonderful friends. And experiences.

Camp is one of those experiences, personally and professionally. My husband and I both had different and positive childhood camp experiences, and we talk about them often. And our kids had even better camp and summer experiences than we did (of course).  We are both so grateful to our parents for gifting us these opportunities, and talk to our kids about this. They get it too.

So as a final request for 2010, I ask that you think about gratitude and check off of your 2010 bucket list saying thank you as often as you can to as many people as possible. It's contagious, and you will be thankful you did!

Passionate Teens Do Something

I recently participated as an evaluator for the Do Something Teen Boot Camp. It is likely one of my best volunteer experiences. Why? Because I was inspired by more than 125 teens who applied to be accepted to learn how to bring their amazing causes to greater levels of social action awareness and impact. How fitting to talk about this now, days before Thanksgiving.

So here are the final three student causes that each won the highest ratings for their elevator pitches amongst we judges, resulting in each of them winning a $500 grant for their social action cause:

1. Chefs For Schools, whose mission strives to address issues of food inequality in underserved communities by training and placing university student volunteers in worthwhile service opportunities.
2. Silent Voices United, Inc., that uses hip hop music to get youth tested for HIV; as well as to educate, strengthen and empower underserved at-risk by providing alternatives to youth violence, teen pregnancy and more.
3. The Financial Literacy Community Project, aims to bridge the financial literacy gap in America by helping educate underserved school kids about finance in Philadelphia. Founded by a few Wharton School students.

What did the teens learn? Tons. A few highlights: never give up; passion is contagious; get together and make a change happen; always improve your pitch and goals (and ABC always be closing); how to make board meetings fun; the nitty gritty (501 c 3 and sponsorships); networking is essential to getting your cause off the ground; ask for more money; there are different ways to approach topics; one yes is a success.

Here's some of the key tips we speed catchers (yes, that was our title) gave the students on their picthes: it is okay to be personally connected to a cause (in fact, it is more meaningful); give your full title, name of your organization, and brief mission; ask a person to take action and make a commitment; give your problem and a solution; follow up on the connections and ask again for what you need and with whom else you can talk; explain what your donation gets you; does a company offer matching donations; do not bury your accomplishments - everyone wants to get you to your goal; tell people you have a plan; pitch until it is natural - make someone relate to your story; use the language of the industry of which you are a part; share how someone can personally get involved - invite them to join you in solving the problem.  

What did I learn? To keep coaching students and helping empower them to start or support such amazing causes. Talk about this with your family over Thanksgiving; you (and your kids) will be glad you did.

The Camp Privilege

The recent NY Times article, 'Daddy, Are We Rich?' prompted me to write about how camp equalizes children and that it is a privilege and gift to attend camp.

When I counsel families on the right summer experiences for their children, it is not uncommon that those of means want their kids to be in a simpler environment where 'more stuff' is unwelcome, there is a greater emphasis on the outdoors, values are more grounded and social/environmental consciousness are part of the camp's philosophies.

Sometimes it is tough to live a more affluent life and yet place that child in a very simple setting. But the majority of kids like this, which demonstrates they want to be in a place of equality where individuals are liked based on who they are and what they like to do, not what they have.

When I went to camp, there were way fewer options and no bells and whistles. Camp was camp. This year in particular, several clients shared they feel their kids are so fortunate to attend camp today, and hope they can resend them next year. Parents should reinforce this with their children, and have an appropriate conversation if budgets are changing and camp session times or choices need to be adjusted. Hiding the realities of life from children is not the best way to raise them. Talk to them in terms they can relate to; kids are more resilient than parents estimate.

Another way to reinforce the gift value of camp is to have your children participate in fund raising activities that allow less fortunate children to attend camp, such as Morry's Camp, SCOPE and Camp To Belong. Nothing makes a child appreciate camp more than having him/her help others to experience the lifetime benefits of camp.  

Summer Gadget Fun

To celebrate the launch of the latest iphone 4 today, I thought I'd share some cool gadgets to capture summer fun. Remember, if your kids are going to camp, check the electronics policies. Almost none allow any mechanisms that have video capability; and do not take the risk of something valuable getting lost. But bring those nifty flip-cam and smart phones to say good bye and attend visiting day. You want those memories documented!

The New York Times did a nice article recently on some gadgets. Here are my picks:

• Compact travel buddy cameras that fit in a pocket or small purse. Some have a GPS function that lets you plot where the photo was shot (almost foursquare-like??). It also shoots high definition video.
• Outdoors, underwater cameras. Good choice for adventures and fits in a pocket. Take it on a trail, bike ride, the pool or even snorkeling (high definition video lets you remember what you really saw, with your expressions). And dropping it does not mean it will break.
• budget-minded, and for the less sophisticated - kids and teens (and less tech-oriented parents, like me). Apparently its easy features make it almost foolproof for novices (think I'll seriously look into this one).

Other good travel gadget sources and ideas include walkabouttravelgear.com for tech travel supplies, skype for calling, yelp for reviews, tripit for organizing itineraries, e-readers for the beach. But one of the best leisure travel all-in-one gadgets is the ipad if you can spring for it (it gets my husband's approval!).