Everything Summer Blog

No Power: Is It Summer Camp?

Many people were left without power this past week after a freaky October snowstorm. The lack of power was exceptionally inconvenient and in some cases dangerous. Non-working traffic lights, tree debris, downed wires caused accidents. Schools and businesses were closed. Halloween was cancelled or postponed in many communities. Could there possibly be a silver lining?

Friends opened their hearts and homes to others, offering beds, showers, chargers, food, and heat to those without. Their generosity inspired others to do the same once they got back power. Neighbors who usually are too busy to interact made time to commiserate and keep each other apprised of news and progress. Strangers sat in Starbucks and shared tips on keeping warm and communicating with the utility companies.

Deprived of video games, television and internet access, families spent a lot of together time. Board games were played. People read by flashlight. Older children helped take care of younger children - both siblings and friends of the family. Everybody was more patience with each other (except those that really weren't). Meals had to be planned and eaten together. Hair was not blown dry, and no make-up was applied. It became apparent to everyone what was really important - family, friends, and of course, heat, light and food.

It was a frustrating and uncomfortable week for all those that lost power, and it was an experience that no one wants to repeat (there is a run on generators!!). On the other hand, many children wait all year until they can go to summer camp, counting each day until they can get on the bus and reunite with their friends and counselors, their summer family. Yet, some of the things that make summer camp so special are the lack of electronics, the shared mealtimes, and the older children taking care of younger ones. Of course, camp is a lot more - great activities, exciting experiences, etc. But, many of the things that make camp special are less obvious - the send of community, the simplicity of life, shared communal activities, the responsibility and pride in caring for younger children emulating older ones.

Although everyone wants to forget the last week with no power as quickly as they cam, perhaps we should try to remember some of it.

Back-to-School and Bullying

It's a new school year. With new shoes, a new book bag and the latest in technology, kids are back to bullying. They've left the safe haven of summer camp, where there is zero tolerance for bullying, to face its evil presence in school and on-line.

I took a sneak peek at CBS News/48 Hours Special Presentation, Bullying: Words Can Kill, to be aired, Friday, September 16, 8PM ET/PT. 1 in 4 children are bullied daily, 160,000 kids stay home every day because they are afraid of being bullied. And, sadly,too many lives are taken over this horrendous act.

The special highlights key signs that parents should be aware of, that may indicate their child is being bullied; in essence, sharp changes in behavior - such as best friends parting suddenly, a former Facebook daily user who refuses to go on-line, eating and sleeping patterns that are abnormal. Parents need to step in and discuss these changes; bringing them to the attention of professionals and their school.

Top tips include:

• Be your child's advocate
• Monitor on-line activities
• What to do if your child is bullied
• And could your child be a bully

It would be much better for children if schools could adapt some of the strategies and training that summer camps invest heavily in each summer, and year-round. An effective consequence for campers is being told to leave camp for behaviors that are not allowed - parents have to escort them home and money is not refunded. And since camps do this every summer, kids know camps walk the talk. I actually witnessed such an exit this summer when I was re-visiting a camp. The director was quick to point out to me the group dynamics and strategies they put in place to protect their campers. Such post-exit guidance meetings for campers impacted by the bullier and those who might think the bullier should have stayed, prove effective management tools for the camp staff and campers. Reinforcing what a positive community stands for (and does not).

Please share this post so others watch this important presentation and get involved to stop bullying in its tracks.

 

Teaching Kids Can-Do Skills

As a summer camp expert, I research and visit many, many camps and programs to learn more about them. The one thing I always look to understand is what kind of life skills they are being taught.

An article in today's NY Times, Big Tools for Little Hands, that discusses woodworking for kids, clearly struck me as a physical skill that teaches many wonderful life lessons. So many of the contributors offered sage advice, I want to share some of these wise nuggets:

• Kids spend too much time interacting with perfect interfaces that they need to understand how perfection is achieved by problem solving with their hands
• Give kids the opportunity to build and create things to allow them to express their imagination
• Children are inherently exploratory; previously limited by their imaginations, now it seems so to some extent by their parents
• Lenore Skenazy, of Free Range Kids, chimes in: we've sort of been brainwashed as a culture that our kids are the least competent generation to roam this earth. In every other era, the children were there to help the family survive, as soon as they could
• Parent and teacher supporters of woodworking skills believe they also teach students how to overcome setbacks
• Children are crying out for opportunities to use their creative mind to take creative risks. Woodworking and art supply that
• And the writer ends the article with: There are opportunities all over the country for children to learn building skills - including summer camps (yes!). But be forewarned: Participants may come home with an expanded sense of can-do!

Parents need to let go more and allow their kids to explore the world around them, 'build' their future. And let's face it, woodworking is also a lot of fun (it's one of my favorite areas to explore when I go camp touring:).

 

 

 

Abercrombie & Fitch Bikini and Camp

It's all over the media. The Abercrombie & Fitch bikini with a built-in push-up bra. Too much for 7 (to 14) year old girls? As a summer camp and youth expert, I think so.

NBC's Today Show and WPIX News this morning, to name just a few, covered this story. I am on the side of too much, too soon. I agree with the child development experts (Dr. Janet Taylor, Dr. Robyn Silverman); this is a teachable moment. But don't flaunt this story; that is likely what the store would like. Girls need to feel comfortable with and proud of who they are at all ages; bodies change dramatically once girls hit puberty and to think they should emulate bodies much older than they are is inappropriate.

When I visit camps each summer, I look especially to observe how girls are dressed, young girls, the teens and the staff, who are the younger girls role models. I also see which camps allow make-up. I applaud camps that don't allow two piece bathing suits - be it girls or coed camps. Uniforms can help with this issue.

Parents, especially moms, let your your daughters be children as long as they can. Once they start dressing in a more sophisticated manner, it is tough to turn the clock back (physically, emotionally, behaviorally and socially). Hold strong to your morals and values; your daughters will thank you when they get older.

Good Girls and Role Models

Yesterday's NY Times Magazine had as its cover story Good Girl, Miranda Cosgrove, an 'It Girl' teen influencer of School of Rock fame, and now iCarly. Not all teen idols can be good role models, but Miranda seems to be doing an effective job here.

With the entertainment companies creating teen idols, and the media pushing them further into the public eye, young girls become more impressionable. I see these idol promotional materials each summer when I visit camps. Miranda seems to live her life in a way that parents, including her own, can be proud and comfortable knowing other young girls are following and trying to emulate her.

I fell in love with Miranda as the take-charge young band manager in School of Rock, even then putting females in positive and strong leadership roles (teaching young girls they are capable and can be in charge). Camps work hard in this same area; and girls camps especially focus on the issues often central to pre-adolescent girls, such as mean girl syndrome, exclusion, appropriate body image/health and self esteem.

I hope this summer when I visit camps I see more posters and magazines full of stories and role model lessons about Miranda and other 'good girls.' Parents should try to enforce this by helping their kids pack bunk decorating images that represent good role models for their kids, camp friends and bunk-mates.

Free-Range Kids

Lenore Skenazy, author of Free-Range Kids, syndicated columnist and lecturer, and as she also refers to a phrase others use to describe her - 'the world's worst mom,' succinctly hits the mark when describing the four things that changed parenting to what it is today.

She shared her wit, humor and real NYC mom stories when helping all of us in the camp industry at the American Camp Association's tri-state conference yesterday, understand the shift in the parenting paradigm. Here are her points on what is responsible for today's parenting styles:

1. The media. Yes, they spread all the news!
2. Crime - statistics show there is a greater likelihood crimes are committed by people someone knows. We live in a litigious society.
3. Experts - too many telling us everything about how to raise our children today. Parents are supposed to consider every sentence out of our mouths before speaking to our kids.
4. Baby safety industrial complex - I love this one - beginning with baby knee pads!

Her mantre is all about raising safe, self-reliant kids (without going nuts with worry). And what is her suggested antidote???? CAMP!!!!! Yeah!!! Let's all spread the word about this (please)!!!!

 

Passionate Teens Do Something

I recently participated as an evaluator for the Do Something Teen Boot Camp. It is likely one of my best volunteer experiences. Why? Because I was inspired by more than 125 teens who applied to be accepted to learn how to bring their amazing causes to greater levels of social action awareness and impact. How fitting to talk about this now, days before Thanksgiving.

So here are the final three student causes that each won the highest ratings for their elevator pitches amongst we judges, resulting in each of them winning a $500 grant for their social action cause:

1. Chefs For Schools, whose mission strives to address issues of food inequality in underserved communities by training and placing university student volunteers in worthwhile service opportunities.
2. Silent Voices United, Inc., that uses hip hop music to get youth tested for HIV; as well as to educate, strengthen and empower underserved at-risk by providing alternatives to youth violence, teen pregnancy and more.
3. The Financial Literacy Community Project, aims to bridge the financial literacy gap in America by helping educate underserved school kids about finance in Philadelphia. Founded by a few Wharton School students.

What did the teens learn? Tons. A few highlights: never give up; passion is contagious; get together and make a change happen; always improve your pitch and goals (and ABC always be closing); how to make board meetings fun; the nitty gritty (501 c 3 and sponsorships); networking is essential to getting your cause off the ground; ask for more money; there are different ways to approach topics; one yes is a success.

Here's some of the key tips we speed catchers (yes, that was our title) gave the students on their picthes: it is okay to be personally connected to a cause (in fact, it is more meaningful); give your full title, name of your organization, and brief mission; ask a person to take action and make a commitment; give your problem and a solution; follow up on the connections and ask again for what you need and with whom else you can talk; explain what your donation gets you; does a company offer matching donations; do not bury your accomplishments - everyone wants to get you to your goal; tell people you have a plan; pitch until it is natural - make someone relate to your story; use the language of the industry of which you are a part; share how someone can personally get involved - invite them to join you in solving the problem.  

What did I learn? To keep coaching students and helping empower them to start or support such amazing causes. Talk about this with your family over Thanksgiving; you (and your kids) will be glad you did.

Summer Gadget Fun

To celebrate the launch of the latest iphone 4 today, I thought I'd share some cool gadgets to capture summer fun. Remember, if your kids are going to camp, check the electronics policies. Almost none allow any mechanisms that have video capability; and do not take the risk of something valuable getting lost. But bring those nifty flip-cam and smart phones to say good bye and attend visiting day. You want those memories documented!

The New York Times did a nice article recently on some gadgets. Here are my picks:

• Compact travel buddy cameras that fit in a pocket or small purse. Some have a GPS function that lets you plot where the photo was shot (almost foursquare-like??). It also shoots high definition video.
• Outdoors, underwater cameras. Good choice for adventures and fits in a pocket. Take it on a trail, bike ride, the pool or even snorkeling (high definition video lets you remember what you really saw, with your expressions). And dropping it does not mean it will break.
• budget-minded, and for the less sophisticated - kids and teens (and less tech-oriented parents, like me). Apparently its easy features make it almost foolproof for novices (think I'll seriously look into this one).

Other good travel gadget sources and ideas include walkabouttravelgear.com for tech travel supplies, skype for calling, yelp for reviews, tripit for organizing itineraries, e-readers for the beach. But one of the best leisure travel all-in-one gadgets is the ipad if you can spring for it (it gets my husband's approval!).

Family Time Has Grown

Loved reading that family time has grown, according to a study completed by two economists at the University of CA, San Diego. Parents today are apparently doing a better job at spending quality family time together than previous generations; including finding the right partners to share responsibilities and more.

The amount of child care time spent by parents of all income levels - especially college graduates - has risen dramatically since the mid-1990s. While this should help to relieve some guilt by working parents, Ellen Galinsky, president of The Families and Work Institute in New York, says "Parents are feeling they don't have enough time with their children....it's a function of people working so hard." But what kids want most, says Dr. Galinsky, is that their parents be less tired and stressed.

Parents and kids need a break. Meaningful time apart in the summer at the right camp or summer program offers the opportunity to appreciate relationships from afar, and to approach parenting anew after a healthy respite. Making these choices can, and should be, part of family time. And what could be better than finishing summer together with a family camp or trip? Start planning now!