Everything Summer Blog

Final Camp Days

Each year as camp nears its end I hear from parents about the final days of camp. Not just the heavy heart of their campers who are so sad to leave, but also both sides of the parent fence - anxious for the kids to finally arrive back home while at the same time sad their spontaneity and freedom are about to end.

This also conjures up memories of the season's camp phone calls home. As one blogger shared on her site, Dads need to get the rules straight about how to maximize each minute of a 10 minute call. This post of hers is incredibly funny, and true, all at the same time.

Some parents have shared that their kids have really grown - well that's what sleepaway camp accomplishes! Whether it is a child overcoming a fear or a habit, becoming more open to new experiences, or older campers making a decision that they love camp but they are ready to more on next summer to a specialized and challenging experience since they will be in high school. It is all good.

The final days of camp are emotionally the best and the rawest. Nothing is more exciting than the final days of Color War, Olympics, or group sing. My kids yearned and looked forward to each summer their camp's silent dinner tradition during the camp's version of Color War. I still hear them talk about it to this day. Emotions are raw because every second counts these final days; it may be weeks or months before they reunite with their summer sisters or brothers. And as I have often shared, the camp bonds tend to be tighter than the friendships back home.

But the group who suffers the most are the graduating campers. While they looked forward each summer to more privileges and responsibilities, this culminating summer where they were the leaders is coming to the end; it really is their final summer as a camper. This is very hard for teens to grasp. I remember both my kids (and I have a girl and a boy) were extraordinarily sad for weeks (even months). To many kids this is harder than moving onto high school. A childhood phase comes to a close. But there is often a future opportunity to return as a staff member or counselor (but the camper status ends sadly.)

Transitions back home can be tough. Parents can't wait to pull their campers back into the real world, while the kids really want to remain campers and be back at camp. So parents, take it slow and read my top tips to help your kids (and you) transition back to home and school life.

And let's begin the countdown to next summer's camp start!

 

Summer Camp Road Trips

As a summer camp expert, each summer I am on the road with my team visiting camps and summer programs to see things firsthand, observe, speak with directors, staff, campers and teens. I learn what has changed, what is new, best practices and more.

So far this summer we have been back to Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Pennsylvania and New York. I am off to Massachusetts this week, and likely back to PA and NY (maybe other areas) to maximize summer camp visits before camp 2011 season is over. It takes 10 months to plan for 2 months, and it goes way too quickly!

Parents often ask what it is I look for when visiting camps and programs. While I share with parents what they should look for when visiting, although family tours can be controlled and planned more by camps, our work is a bit more specific to provide us insights into the quality of the facility, its programs, staff, camper culture and more. In other words, I get to ask more private and trend-related information the camps share with us, not necessarily parents, enabling us to better guide families about camps and programs. So here's a birdseye view into a few things I seek out to observe and learn:

• The welcome - entry, greeting, the camp office and personnel. Tip: we try to listen to public conversations to observe interactions between staff, campers, directors. We also hear how front-line personnel might converse with those on the phone (be it parents, other camps, staff, vendors, etc.)
• The walk - we prefer to walk vs. take a golf cart. This way we get a sense of the lay of the land, how it is kept, how vast or small it is, etc. Do directors proactively pick up litter (while we hope to see none it can happen occasionally)?
• The heat - how is this handled? Take this summer of 100 degree plus days we have had. How shaded or sunny is the camp?
• The waterfront - how far or close is it? How many ski boats are there (and how new are they)? How are water activities handled and their real frequency?
• The talk - how do directors talk to us, and those who interact with them while we are touring? Is it organic or forced? How do campers converse with directors? How do directors speak to staff (we love to see humility and empowerment). And importantly, how do they speak of other camps? Real time story: this summer I revisited a camp in NH; there was a multi-camp sports day occurring while I was there. The camp director spoke well of each camp, but professionally identified a camp with whom they reciprocally have their campers eat at because their staff and campers are respectful and share similar values.
• The issues - while we all hope for trouble free summers, we like to hear that inappropriate staff and campers are sent home for unacceptable behaviors, and most imporantly, bullying. Real time story: this summer we witnessed the aftermath of a camp bully who was sent home after several warnings to change her behavior. There was remorse and discontent amongst that cabin group, but the camp used it as a teachable moment and the girls listened.
• The facility - is it well maintained? What are the new improvements? Are they current with other comparable camps? In what condition are random bunks (not necessarily the one families tour)?What are future plans?
• The food - we do eat at the camps! But when we cannot we look for cleanliness, types of drinks served, how food is served, chat with kids about the food quality, and ask directors about food allergy policies, seeking out physical examples of the allergen management (is a camp really nut-free if they serve peanut butter in a contained area?)
• The activities - where are all the campers? How often are campers really getting their choice activities? Who plays the inter-camps? Are there A/B sports teams? And more.
• The camp culture - values, energy, traditions, geographic and religious representation (of campers and staff) and more.

The list goes on, but our takeaway puts us in a unique position to understand who will succeed at each camp and why. The reason why we love to go on the summer camp road trip each and every summer!

 

 

The Night Before Summer Camp

The last night home before leaving for sleepaway camp conjures up rituals and memories, as a parent, child and even the summer camp expert here. And tonight is that night for me.

Whether your child is going off to camp for the first time, successive summers, or his or her final summer, it is emotional and memorable for everyone. Having lived through so many of these nights, I share my memories and lessons learned, to make it easier for others:

• Share their favorite foods - of course! My kids would often have different requests. So we would bring in from their favorite restaurants. For others it is a special meal a child and/or parent prepares.
• Do a family activity - in our case, movies have been a family bond that ties all of us together. So we'd pick the latest new film (when they were young) and be sure we saw it as a family that last night together. As tastes matured, we moved onto independent films.
• Pack their knapsack together - whether kids go off to camp via a bus, car, plane or train, there remain always a few items that did not get packed in their trunk. Or more importantly, there are some special or personal items you want them to have en route to camp. In our case, it was a new family photo book that included family and close friends, a treasured stuffed animal or comfort item they could use if they wanted to feel close to home or us, favorite music (remember no electronics with video abilities are allowed), favorite dvds to share with the bunk when allowed during movie night (the camp office would hold), snack/gum (remember, they take these away when the kids arrive, so do NOT go overboard with this), book, specialty magazines, any last minute clothes, etc. Remember, they have to be able to carry this knapsack themselves!
• Write a special note - and pack it in their knapsack yourself. My kids cherished these. Notes of encouragement and love go far.
• Talk about happy times and how wonderful camp is - no negative, or 'child sick' talk allowed! This is not the time to talk about important things you forgot to mention. Kids need their parents support and happiness as they go off to camp. If your kids show anxieties, it is normal; be reassuring. You can call the camp in the morning after you drop off your kids to alert them of any last minute conversations of which they should be aware.

Developing rituals around this night will become something all of you look forward to and cherished memories as you and your child reminisce about their camp years.

What are you last-night-before-camp rituals?

The Last Pre-Summer Family Weekend

I choked up when I read yesterday's NY Times article about The Getaway Car, a father's recollection of a final trip with his daughter pre-college. I am sure all parents with teens did.

But thankfully, for the millions of kids who go to overnight camp each summer, their - and their parents - prep for the home-to-college transition - starts early. I remember starting the camp rite of passage with my kids and thinking, wow, college is next! With at least 10 years in between:). It did help for everyone.

What I took away from this article was let your kids separate on their own, and find other things to keep you busy. If you did your job well, they will be excited and transition well. Of course there may be some small speed bumps along the way, but summer camp experiences do create a strong foundation.

Don't run to solve their quandries; rather offer a (your) perspective, and let them digest it. Either they will embrace it on their own, or discard it for their own, which may or may not work. But that is okay; because skinned knees are life lessons.

Take the time to familiarize yourself with their new world; don't judge. Because if you want to be part of their new home, you need to accept their terms and parameters. Remember this is their experience, not yours.

Camp Trunks

As a summer camp expert - and expert camp trunk packer - every year at this time two things happen: I get nostalgic of packing my more than 30+ camper trunks (not to mention the college trunk packing); and my clients ask for me for inside tips.

While it is a great deal of work, it is also an act of love. I remember the painstaking care I took labeling everything (including my insane need to label q-tips boxes as if the kids wouldn't share???), organizing and packing everything in ziploc bags, writing on each the contents and quantity inside, finding the exact center of the trunk of blankets and comforters to waddle and protect my kids tennis racquets. And one never broke!

When I recently shared my memory of this past weekend with my son - the second weekend in June was always the last weekend to finish everything up since trunks would have to be outside the house before dawn the next day (as well as the day of our town's biggest race for education that my husband and I co-produced) - he smirked. He remembers the excitement and countdown to the end of school and the start of camp; my countdown and memories surrounded the packing, prep and pre-camp activities we always planned - a tradition!

I remember telling my kids where I packed certain items so they could readily find them at camp. My kids laughed at my preciseness and organization, but their counselors thanked me every year as this made unpacking at camp and packing at the end so much easier. (So there!) 

I smile now because once the trunks left, I knew we would then have up to two weeks of fun and special times before they departed. With no worries of packing until the last day. Having the rituals and stress earlier made the final pre-camp days blissful. And I always knew they were leaving for the happiest time and place for them: their home away from home, overnight camp!

Work Ethic You Want (When Young)

I work with kids, teens and young adults daily, from camps to careers. I try to help them develop their innate skills, and discover and nurture others. It's a great jump start to listen to what successful individuals have to say about behaviors and traits they seek out when hiring young people.

Some great insights can be gleaned from the NY Times article, A Work Ethic Shaped At An Early Age. The founder of TransPerfect, a translation service, shares the traits young people should have:

• Working from an extremely young age, and ideally not having stopped
• Work hard, gain experience to become self-sufficient
• That type of upbringing usually translates to becoming good employees
• Adversity, overcoming some sort of challenge is important
• People who play competitive sports, come from entrepreneurial families, tend to have a desire to succeed
• Being accountable and transparent
• Being able to "tell me about yourself;" this indicates if they are a logical thinker and an effective communicator
• Positive energy, proactive problem resolving
• Collaborative and good listening abilities
• Idea generation and detail orientation
• The desire to take risks
• Humility

Knowing this now should help teens - and kids - to work early on developing and mastering these essential work, and life, skills. Summer is a good time to take stock and nurture your strengths and weaknesses.

 

Campers Reunite Nearly 5 Decades Later

As a summer camp expert, advocate, and spokesperson, I seek out camp stories everywhere. They feed my passion! This one is close to my heart, as it includes my friend and the state where my own kids went to overnight camp, Maine.

I recently attended the reunion of 20+ camp friends in NYC where they waxed nostalgically and emotionally about their summers at Camp Eastwood in Maine. A core group has remained in touch, actually a girls bunk. Imagine that; four women who have lived their lives, raised their kids, reside in different areas, but find a common bond that is unbreakable - their childhood at overnight camp in Maine.

            

I loved what they had to share:

 "I think so much is about friendships, traditions, and acceptance you found in a setting as a child. The feeling you got from it. So much of their memories centered around the lake. And many of them chose to send their kids back to Maine because of what they had. " They were all so emotional, and rightfully so. I recall one even met her husband at camp.

How rare it is to find camp friends united decades later, yet it is not uncommon. For overnight camp forms an unbreakable bond that once made, it lasts forever.  

Here's to all the campers of yesteryear and all current campers to carry on the best friendships and camp traditions and memories!

A Winning Summer

As a summer, camp and youth expert, I meet with and help many kids and teens. The one goal I have for all my clients is: what will make a winning summer for each of them.

This obviously varies based on the age of the child or teen, his/her personal needs and goals, as well as those of their parents. I am especially sensitive to the small achievements I hope those with special needs can accomplish in the summer.

When I interview parents, kids and teens, I search for the strengths and weaknesses of the children. Often those with learning challenges need a break in the summer, since the yearlong struggles at school take a toll on their self esteem. So I help them focus on new passions, self-discovery, and/or things they do well. This way when they return home from celebrating triumphs, they are stronger to face the challenges they work hard to overcome in school, and even life. Nothing is more rewarding than to hear a child became a great water skier or received a lead in the camp show, when in school this might not happen for them.

For others it might be learning how to make friends more easily, discovering a world outside of their own, experiencing the incredible pride and self-satisfaction of altruistic acts of kindness that you cannot put a price on.

The journey itself is often the greatest reward. When you sit down to work with your kids and teens on planning their summer (and it should be a partnership), sit back and ask them - and yourself - what would make this a winning summer for my child or teen?

 

Teaching Kids Can-Do Skills

As a summer camp expert, I research and visit many, many camps and programs to learn more about them. The one thing I always look to understand is what kind of life skills they are being taught.

An article in today's NY Times, Big Tools for Little Hands, that discusses woodworking for kids, clearly struck me as a physical skill that teaches many wonderful life lessons. So many of the contributors offered sage advice, I want to share some of these wise nuggets:

• Kids spend too much time interacting with perfect interfaces that they need to understand how perfection is achieved by problem solving with their hands
• Give kids the opportunity to build and create things to allow them to express their imagination
• Children are inherently exploratory; previously limited by their imaginations, now it seems so to some extent by their parents
• Lenore Skenazy, of Free Range Kids, chimes in: we've sort of been brainwashed as a culture that our kids are the least competent generation to roam this earth. In every other era, the children were there to help the family survive, as soon as they could
• Parent and teacher supporters of woodworking skills believe they also teach students how to overcome setbacks
• Children are crying out for opportunities to use their creative mind to take creative risks. Woodworking and art supply that
• And the writer ends the article with: There are opportunities all over the country for children to learn building skills - including summer camps (yes!). But be forewarned: Participants may come home with an expanded sense of can-do!

Parents need to let go more and allow their kids to explore the world around them, 'build' their future. And let's face it, woodworking is also a lot of fun (it's one of my favorite areas to explore when I go camp touring:).

 

 

 

Abercrombie & Fitch Bikini and Camp

It's all over the media. The Abercrombie & Fitch bikini with a built-in push-up bra. Too much for 7 (to 14) year old girls? As a summer camp and youth expert, I think so.

NBC's Today Show and WPIX News this morning, to name just a few, covered this story. I am on the side of too much, too soon. I agree with the child development experts (Dr. Janet Taylor, Dr. Robyn Silverman); this is a teachable moment. But don't flaunt this story; that is likely what the store would like. Girls need to feel comfortable with and proud of who they are at all ages; bodies change dramatically once girls hit puberty and to think they should emulate bodies much older than they are is inappropriate.

When I visit camps each summer, I look especially to observe how girls are dressed, young girls, the teens and the staff, who are the younger girls role models. I also see which camps allow make-up. I applaud camps that don't allow two piece bathing suits - be it girls or coed camps. Uniforms can help with this issue.

Parents, especially moms, let your your daughters be children as long as they can. Once they start dressing in a more sophisticated manner, it is tough to turn the clock back (physically, emotionally, behaviorally and socially). Hold strong to your morals and values; your daughters will thank you when they get older.