Everything Summer Blog

Thought Leaders and Camp

This weekend we saw Iron Lady, in time to catch Meryl Streep pre-Oscars (always enjoy seeing nominees before the awards). The movie was full of life lessons and history, with Meryl conveying the character of Margaret Thatcher incredibly (she became her).

What was most memorable was a quote she mentioned, that really was from based on a Gandhi quote:

Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.

This all makes me think of camp, and the impact it has on campers and staff. When kids are away from home, bonding with others away from technology, they focus, I believe, on life choices and people. They take stock more of their actions and impact on others. And good actions become habits and values they bring home with them.

Thatcher also said: "Disciplining yourself to do what you know is right and important, although difficult, is the high road to pride, self-esteem, and personal satisfaction." And isn't camp about experiencing pride in all that you do, which leads to fulfillment and stronger self esteem?

Happiness is....

I have heard a lot of different New Year's resolutions, most involving self-betterment, through diet, fitness, exercise, volunteerism. There are vows to take on new challenges or give up bad habits. All of them really are aimed though to make the person who is doing the resolving, happier. There have been books devoted to seeking happiness (i.e. the aptly named The Happiness Project), essays written, innumerable philosophical discussions amongst philosophers, college students,teen-agers, parents, pre-schoolers, you name it.

So, what is happiness, and how do you get it? Is it as easy as all those quotes posted on someone's Facebook page or is there more to it? Ralph Gardner, Jr. of the Wall Street Journal, wrote an essay in December entitled, "A Study in Happiness" , in which he attended a meeting of the St. John's College New York City "Happiness" Executive Seminar. This particular seminar revolved around an essay by Seneca. While Mr. Gardner lamented the choice of refreshments, he was happy to have spent "90 minutes... without cell phones, in communion with someone who lived 2,000 years ago, and was both smarter and shrewder than anyone else you're likely to encounter over the course of your average day."

Happiness, as even Lucy from the Peanuts comic strip could tell you, is different things for different people. One child might want to play sports-- hit, kick, and throw balls all day long. Another may be happiest reading or creating art projects, or playing guitar, or singing. One woman may be enormously happy when she finishes a marathon, another when she sees an old friend. Sometimes, it seems nothing will make teen-agers happy. However, everyone (perhaps teen-agers especially!) benefits from time away, from changing up their routine. Whether it is vacation, camp, an academic summer program, a visit abroad, a new job or volunteer opportunity, everyone should take time this year to make a change, to view things from a different angle, to allow themselves to appreciate the things they have that do make them happy.

Summer Camp Directors Are Sharers

As a summer camp consultant, I talk daily with families, camps and summer programs. With nearly two decades of experience, I still marvel at things I learn. And here I mean the little things that make a difference.

Yesterday I attended an American Camp Association camp professional development day on management, The Morry Stein Fall Management Conference. Its focus was on motivating staff to bring a camp to its next level. There were some great speakers on relevant topics. But my greatest take away was the sharing of knowledge amongst experienced (and novice) camp directors.

Many industries keep their practices close to the chest. Not camp directors. They share with others the systems they develop to nurture staff to maximize counselors abilities to manage campers, architectural plans to build efficient facilities, instructors and trainers who offer specialized insights; and the list goes on.

I also loved listening to how leaders in the camp community were receptive to learning new ways; realizing that others may have great ideas to make their camp operations even better. Whether a camp was privately owned or a non-profit; all ideas were welcome and appreciated.

This may seem unusual to parents, since one would think certain camps are competing against one another for new campers. But the truth is all good camp directors want the same thing: a safe camp where appropriate facilities can be built and maintained, exciting and relevant programs can be developed and implemented and the best staff/trainers can be recruited, motivated and nurtured to create the best experiences for children.

And this is a 365 day a year commitment. Camp directors, please keep sharing.

No Power: Is It Summer Camp?

Many people were left without power this past week after a freaky October snowstorm. The lack of power was exceptionally inconvenient and in some cases dangerous. Non-working traffic lights, tree debris, downed wires caused accidents. Schools and businesses were closed. Halloween was cancelled or postponed in many communities. Could there possibly be a silver lining?

Friends opened their hearts and homes to others, offering beds, showers, chargers, food, and heat to those without. Their generosity inspired others to do the same once they got back power. Neighbors who usually are too busy to interact made time to commiserate and keep each other apprised of news and progress. Strangers sat in Starbucks and shared tips on keeping warm and communicating with the utility companies.

Deprived of video games, television and internet access, families spent a lot of together time. Board games were played. People read by flashlight. Older children helped take care of younger children - both siblings and friends of the family. Everybody was more patience with each other (except those that really weren't). Meals had to be planned and eaten together. Hair was not blown dry, and no make-up was applied. It became apparent to everyone what was really important - family, friends, and of course, heat, light and food.

It was a frustrating and uncomfortable week for all those that lost power, and it was an experience that no one wants to repeat (there is a run on generators!!). On the other hand, many children wait all year until they can go to summer camp, counting each day until they can get on the bus and reunite with their friends and counselors, their summer family. Yet, some of the things that make summer camp so special are the lack of electronics, the shared mealtimes, and the older children taking care of younger ones. Of course, camp is a lot more - great activities, exciting experiences, etc. But, many of the things that make camp special are less obvious - the send of community, the simplicity of life, shared communal activities, the responsibility and pride in caring for younger children emulating older ones.

Although everyone wants to forget the last week with no power as quickly as they cam, perhaps we should try to remember some of it.

Back-to-School and Bullying

It's a new school year. With new shoes, a new book bag and the latest in technology, kids are back to bullying. They've left the safe haven of summer camp, where there is zero tolerance for bullying, to face its evil presence in school and on-line.

I took a sneak peek at CBS News/48 Hours Special Presentation, Bullying: Words Can Kill, to be aired, Friday, September 16, 8PM ET/PT. 1 in 4 children are bullied daily, 160,000 kids stay home every day because they are afraid of being bullied. And, sadly,too many lives are taken over this horrendous act.

The special highlights key signs that parents should be aware of, that may indicate their child is being bullied; in essence, sharp changes in behavior - such as best friends parting suddenly, a former Facebook daily user who refuses to go on-line, eating and sleeping patterns that are abnormal. Parents need to step in and discuss these changes; bringing them to the attention of professionals and their school.

Top tips include:

• Be your child's advocate
• Monitor on-line activities
• What to do if your child is bullied
• And could your child be a bully

It would be much better for children if schools could adapt some of the strategies and training that summer camps invest heavily in each summer, and year-round. An effective consequence for campers is being told to leave camp for behaviors that are not allowed - parents have to escort them home and money is not refunded. And since camps do this every summer, kids know camps walk the talk. I actually witnessed such an exit this summer when I was re-visiting a camp. The director was quick to point out to me the group dynamics and strategies they put in place to protect their campers. Such post-exit guidance meetings for campers impacted by the bullier and those who might think the bullier should have stayed, prove effective management tools for the camp staff and campers. Reinforcing what a positive community stands for (and does not).

Please share this post so others watch this important presentation and get involved to stop bullying in its tracks.

 

Love What You Do: Thank You Steve Jobs

A recent Wall Street Journal article reprinted part of Steve Jobs' 2005 Stanford University commencement address. His lessons and words of wisdom ring so true to me, as I love what I do.

He speaks to three lessons. The one that resonates most with me is Love and Loss:

"Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle."

When you are passionate about your work, it isn't work at all. Someone once asked if you could do what you do and not get paid, would you still do it? My answer is a resounding YES. Waking up each day knowing I can make a difference in the lives of young people, having a positive impact on their development, is not a task; it is a love. Unearthing and researching opportunities that meet the custom needs of each client is rewarding and fulfilling.

Like Steve Jobs, my career has taken different paths due to various circumstances. But each road connects the dots for me. I know my value and purpose is greater to families, camps, summer programs and educational institutions because of all the miles I have experienced in life.

One of my points of advocacy to the young people I guide is to encourage them to explore and discover passions so they learn more about what is meaningful to them, and how they can contribute to society and mankind. And using the summer as an experimental, experiential and learning period is a great way for today's youth to pursue a positive developmental path.

The Last Pre-Summer Family Weekend

I choked up when I read yesterday's NY Times article about The Getaway Car, a father's recollection of a final trip with his daughter pre-college. I am sure all parents with teens did.

But thankfully, for the millions of kids who go to overnight camp each summer, their - and their parents - prep for the home-to-college transition - starts early. I remember starting the camp rite of passage with my kids and thinking, wow, college is next! With at least 10 years in between:). It did help for everyone.

What I took away from this article was let your kids separate on their own, and find other things to keep you busy. If you did your job well, they will be excited and transition well. Of course there may be some small speed bumps along the way, but summer camp experiences do create a strong foundation.

Don't run to solve their quandries; rather offer a (your) perspective, and let them digest it. Either they will embrace it on their own, or discard it for their own, which may or may not work. But that is okay; because skinned knees are life lessons.

Take the time to familiarize yourself with their new world; don't judge. Because if you want to be part of their new home, you need to accept their terms and parameters. Remember this is their experience, not yours.

Work Ethic You Want (When Young)

I work with kids, teens and young adults daily, from camps to careers. I try to help them develop their innate skills, and discover and nurture others. It's a great jump start to listen to what successful individuals have to say about behaviors and traits they seek out when hiring young people.

Some great insights can be gleaned from the NY Times article, A Work Ethic Shaped At An Early Age. The founder of TransPerfect, a translation service, shares the traits young people should have:

• Working from an extremely young age, and ideally not having stopped
• Work hard, gain experience to become self-sufficient
• That type of upbringing usually translates to becoming good employees
• Adversity, overcoming some sort of challenge is important
• People who play competitive sports, come from entrepreneurial families, tend to have a desire to succeed
• Being accountable and transparent
• Being able to "tell me about yourself;" this indicates if they are a logical thinker and an effective communicator
• Positive energy, proactive problem resolving
• Collaborative and good listening abilities
• Idea generation and detail orientation
• The desire to take risks
• Humility

Knowing this now should help teens - and kids - to work early on developing and mastering these essential work, and life, skills. Summer is a good time to take stock and nurture your strengths and weaknesses.

 

Campers Reunite Nearly 5 Decades Later

As a summer camp expert, advocate, and spokesperson, I seek out camp stories everywhere. They feed my passion! This one is close to my heart, as it includes my friend and the state where my own kids went to overnight camp, Maine.

I recently attended the reunion of 20+ camp friends in NYC where they waxed nostalgically and emotionally about their summers at Camp Eastwood in Maine. A core group has remained in touch, actually a girls bunk. Imagine that; four women who have lived their lives, raised their kids, reside in different areas, but find a common bond that is unbreakable - their childhood at overnight camp in Maine.

            

I loved what they had to share:

 "I think so much is about friendships, traditions, and acceptance you found in a setting as a child. The feeling you got from it. So much of their memories centered around the lake. And many of them chose to send their kids back to Maine because of what they had. " They were all so emotional, and rightfully so. I recall one even met her husband at camp.

How rare it is to find camp friends united decades later, yet it is not uncommon. For overnight camp forms an unbreakable bond that once made, it lasts forever.  

Here's to all the campers of yesteryear and all current campers to carry on the best friendships and camp traditions and memories!

Parent Pride

As a summer camp, youth and parenting expert, I espouse my advice to clients always with my opinion and experience. And nothing comes close to a parent's pride overflowing when witnessing their child's growth and accomplishments.

And this was personal for me quite recently. My son came home on spring break the other week. While we had seen him only 7-8 weeks before, we did not expect him to be that different. But he was. Well, kind of. What I mean is changes we saw merely weeks ago were now cemented; a permanent part of his make-up. Handling disappointments due to illness, thinking through his upcoming school work and internship responsibilities, finding a new apartment, planning his productive summer, and more. He was doing this with self-motivation and self-initiative, not because of a parent's encouragement (or involvement, which would be wrong in my opinion). Our hearts and minds swelled with pride.

I can think back to when my kids returned home each summer from overnight camp. A mere 7 weeks away was really a lifetime in the leap of maturity with which they returned home. And despite a decade of experiencing this, we remained amazed each summer of their development; who they each became as older, wiser, more self-reliant and experienced children and teens.

I share with my parent clients that you need to embrace these changes and not fall prey to regressive behaviors of more coddling. The best assessment of how good a job we do as parents is to send our kids off into this world as independent thinkers and doers who know how to lead safe, healthy and happy lives. Most everything else falls into place, including those bumps and obstacles along the way that lead to more self-confidence and life lessons.