Everything Summer Blog

Thought Leaders and Camp

This weekend we saw Iron Lady, in time to catch Meryl Streep pre-Oscars (always enjoy seeing nominees before the awards). The movie was full of life lessons and history, with Meryl conveying the character of Margaret Thatcher incredibly (she became her).

What was most memorable was a quote she mentioned, that really was from based on a Gandhi quote:

Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.

This all makes me think of camp, and the impact it has on campers and staff. When kids are away from home, bonding with others away from technology, they focus, I believe, on life choices and people. They take stock more of their actions and impact on others. And good actions become habits and values they bring home with them.

Thatcher also said: "Disciplining yourself to do what you know is right and important, although difficult, is the high road to pride, self-esteem, and personal satisfaction." And isn't camp about experiencing pride in all that you do, which leads to fulfillment and stronger self esteem?

Happiness is....

I have heard a lot of different New Year's resolutions, most involving self-betterment, through diet, fitness, exercise, volunteerism. There are vows to take on new challenges or give up bad habits. All of them really are aimed though to make the person who is doing the resolving, happier. There have been books devoted to seeking happiness (i.e. the aptly named The Happiness Project), essays written, innumerable philosophical discussions amongst philosophers, college students,teen-agers, parents, pre-schoolers, you name it.

So, what is happiness, and how do you get it? Is it as easy as all those quotes posted on someone's Facebook page or is there more to it? Ralph Gardner, Jr. of the Wall Street Journal, wrote an essay in December entitled, "A Study in Happiness" , in which he attended a meeting of the St. John's College New York City "Happiness" Executive Seminar. This particular seminar revolved around an essay by Seneca. While Mr. Gardner lamented the choice of refreshments, he was happy to have spent "90 minutes... without cell phones, in communion with someone who lived 2,000 years ago, and was both smarter and shrewder than anyone else you're likely to encounter over the course of your average day."

Happiness, as even Lucy from the Peanuts comic strip could tell you, is different things for different people. One child might want to play sports-- hit, kick, and throw balls all day long. Another may be happiest reading or creating art projects, or playing guitar, or singing. One woman may be enormously happy when she finishes a marathon, another when she sees an old friend. Sometimes, it seems nothing will make teen-agers happy. However, everyone (perhaps teen-agers especially!) benefits from time away, from changing up their routine. Whether it is vacation, camp, an academic summer program, a visit abroad, a new job or volunteer opportunity, everyone should take time this year to make a change, to view things from a different angle, to allow themselves to appreciate the things they have that do make them happy.

Summer Love

Remember the movie, Grease? Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta had an idyllic summer teenage romance and returned back to high school to find that they were classmates. Many people fondly remember summer romances-- at camp, at summer programs, at the beach, away on vacation.

A change in venue over the summer allows teen-agers to be more confident and perhaps try on a new persona. Some of these romances continue and for a few, turn into marriage, but most end with the summer. Technology has added a new twist. A couple of months ago, in an article entitled Skype Postpones Sweet Sorrow, the New York Times noted how Skype has allowed far flung romances to continue into the winter months. This obviously has its advantages and disadvantages when it comes to summer romances that may have succeeded in large part because both parties knew there was a built-in expiration date.

However, Skype, AIM, iChat, Facebook, texting, and even old-fashioned e-mail are invaluable at keeping younger children and teens (depending upon the medium) connected with people with whom they established a bond over the summer. This can be a great outlet for a fourth grader who experienced lunchtime drama at school or for a high school junior anxious about the SAT's and college visitations. Long holiday week-ends and vacations provide a break from the daily school routine, and many children and teens use this time to reach out to their summer friends and hopefully plan face-to-face get-togethers. Technology is great, but it only goes so far!

Better Parents

With the end-of-year holidays here, it's a good time to look back at the school year and take stock of parenting styles.

A recent op-ed column by Thomas Friedman in The New York Times, "How About Better Parents?" questions whether or not teachers are to blame for the fact that U.S. students don't score as highly as other countries on big international tests. Yes, good teachers are important. But, so are good, involved parents. And, "involved" doesn't necessarily mean what you think it does.

While it is important to attend PTA and school board meetings, volunteer in classrooms, and participate in fund-raising, that will not necessarily drive achievement. The factors that affect achievement are monitoring homework, making sure children get to school, and basically getting involved with children's learning at home. Andreas Schleicher, who oversees exams for the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development, told Thomas Friedman that "just asking your child how was their school day and showing genuine interest in the learning that they are doing can have the same impact as hours of private tutoring."

Camp directors and staff know this intuitively. All day long at camp, kids are involved in dialogues with their staff, peers and older campers about what they are doing and learning. So, if your child comes home with a great jump shot or a killer serve, you can certainly credit the great sports instruction. But, you also have to credit the time, energy and involvement of all those who spent time with your child, talked to him/her and discussed his/her day.

Making the Most of Camp Reunions

Ahh the holidays. Amidst the scramble of sports schedules, school projects, school concerts and term papers, many summer camps schedule reunions around the holiday season. These provide a few days to relax and unwind and think about a more carefree (and warmer)-- summer. 

Whether your child's reunion is scheduled by the camp or an informal one put together by parents and their children, there are huge benefits to these get-togethers. Reunions get children excited for the upcoming summer, and they allow anyone feeling social or academic stress at home to return to a carefree camp mode. Given the competitive atmosphere which pervades academics and sports these days, many kids are happy to unwind and see summer friends with whom they have a deep connection. They recharge and are ready to face new challenges knowing that they have special friends who will always be there for them.

Camp reunions make the long wait for summer seem a little shorter. For children who become anxious about homesickness or other issues, reunions can remind them why they enjoyed camp so much and allay some anxiety. Sometimes, a group of boys or girls reminiscing about the summer will bring to the surface some issues that came up at camp that parents may never have heard about before. Once the reunion is over, question your child casually, and if you feel that anything needs to be brought to the attention of the camp directors, definitely let them know. If the directors can avoid issues going forward, they will be more than happy to do so!

Summer Camp Directors Are Sharers

As a summer camp consultant, I talk daily with families, camps and summer programs. With nearly two decades of experience, I still marvel at things I learn. And here I mean the little things that make a difference.

Yesterday I attended an American Camp Association camp professional development day on management, The Morry Stein Fall Management Conference. Its focus was on motivating staff to bring a camp to its next level. There were some great speakers on relevant topics. But my greatest take away was the sharing of knowledge amongst experienced (and novice) camp directors.

Many industries keep their practices close to the chest. Not camp directors. They share with others the systems they develop to nurture staff to maximize counselors abilities to manage campers, architectural plans to build efficient facilities, instructors and trainers who offer specialized insights; and the list goes on.

I also loved listening to how leaders in the camp community were receptive to learning new ways; realizing that others may have great ideas to make their camp operations even better. Whether a camp was privately owned or a non-profit; all ideas were welcome and appreciated.

This may seem unusual to parents, since one would think certain camps are competing against one another for new campers. But the truth is all good camp directors want the same thing: a safe camp where appropriate facilities can be built and maintained, exciting and relevant programs can be developed and implemented and the best staff/trainers can be recruited, motivated and nurtured to create the best experiences for children.

And this is a 365 day a year commitment. Camp directors, please keep sharing.

No Power: Is It Summer Camp?

Many people were left without power this past week after a freaky October snowstorm. The lack of power was exceptionally inconvenient and in some cases dangerous. Non-working traffic lights, tree debris, downed wires caused accidents. Schools and businesses were closed. Halloween was cancelled or postponed in many communities. Could there possibly be a silver lining?

Friends opened their hearts and homes to others, offering beds, showers, chargers, food, and heat to those without. Their generosity inspired others to do the same once they got back power. Neighbors who usually are too busy to interact made time to commiserate and keep each other apprised of news and progress. Strangers sat in Starbucks and shared tips on keeping warm and communicating with the utility companies.

Deprived of video games, television and internet access, families spent a lot of together time. Board games were played. People read by flashlight. Older children helped take care of younger children - both siblings and friends of the family. Everybody was more patience with each other (except those that really weren't). Meals had to be planned and eaten together. Hair was not blown dry, and no make-up was applied. It became apparent to everyone what was really important - family, friends, and of course, heat, light and food.

It was a frustrating and uncomfortable week for all those that lost power, and it was an experience that no one wants to repeat (there is a run on generators!!). On the other hand, many children wait all year until they can go to summer camp, counting each day until they can get on the bus and reunite with their friends and counselors, their summer family. Yet, some of the things that make summer camp so special are the lack of electronics, the shared mealtimes, and the older children taking care of younger ones. Of course, camp is a lot more - great activities, exciting experiences, etc. But, many of the things that make camp special are less obvious - the send of community, the simplicity of life, shared communal activities, the responsibility and pride in caring for younger children emulating older ones.

Although everyone wants to forget the last week with no power as quickly as they cam, perhaps we should try to remember some of it.

Back-to-School and Bullying

It's a new school year. With new shoes, a new book bag and the latest in technology, kids are back to bullying. They've left the safe haven of summer camp, where there is zero tolerance for bullying, to face its evil presence in school and on-line.

I took a sneak peek at CBS News/48 Hours Special Presentation, Bullying: Words Can Kill, to be aired, Friday, September 16, 8PM ET/PT. 1 in 4 children are bullied daily, 160,000 kids stay home every day because they are afraid of being bullied. And, sadly,too many lives are taken over this horrendous act.

The special highlights key signs that parents should be aware of, that may indicate their child is being bullied; in essence, sharp changes in behavior - such as best friends parting suddenly, a former Facebook daily user who refuses to go on-line, eating and sleeping patterns that are abnormal. Parents need to step in and discuss these changes; bringing them to the attention of professionals and their school.

Top tips include:

• Be your child's advocate
• Monitor on-line activities
• What to do if your child is bullied
• And could your child be a bully

It would be much better for children if schools could adapt some of the strategies and training that summer camps invest heavily in each summer, and year-round. An effective consequence for campers is being told to leave camp for behaviors that are not allowed - parents have to escort them home and money is not refunded. And since camps do this every summer, kids know camps walk the talk. I actually witnessed such an exit this summer when I was re-visiting a camp. The director was quick to point out to me the group dynamics and strategies they put in place to protect their campers. Such post-exit guidance meetings for campers impacted by the bullier and those who might think the bullier should have stayed, prove effective management tools for the camp staff and campers. Reinforcing what a positive community stands for (and does not).

Please share this post so others watch this important presentation and get involved to stop bullying in its tracks.

 

Love What You Do: Thank You Steve Jobs

A recent Wall Street Journal article reprinted part of Steve Jobs' 2005 Stanford University commencement address. His lessons and words of wisdom ring so true to me, as I love what I do.

He speaks to three lessons. The one that resonates most with me is Love and Loss:

"Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle."

When you are passionate about your work, it isn't work at all. Someone once asked if you could do what you do and not get paid, would you still do it? My answer is a resounding YES. Waking up each day knowing I can make a difference in the lives of young people, having a positive impact on their development, is not a task; it is a love. Unearthing and researching opportunities that meet the custom needs of each client is rewarding and fulfilling.

Like Steve Jobs, my career has taken different paths due to various circumstances. But each road connects the dots for me. I know my value and purpose is greater to families, camps, summer programs and educational institutions because of all the miles I have experienced in life.

One of my points of advocacy to the young people I guide is to encourage them to explore and discover passions so they learn more about what is meaningful to them, and how they can contribute to society and mankind. And using the summer as an experimental, experiential and learning period is a great way for today's youth to pursue a positive developmental path.

Final Camp Days

Each year as camp nears its end I hear from parents about the final days of camp. Not just the heavy heart of their campers who are so sad to leave, but also both sides of the parent fence - anxious for the kids to finally arrive back home while at the same time sad their spontaneity and freedom are about to end.

This also conjures up memories of the season's camp phone calls home. As one blogger shared on her site, Dads need to get the rules straight about how to maximize each minute of a 10 minute call. This post of hers is incredibly funny, and true, all at the same time.

Some parents have shared that their kids have really grown - well that's what sleepaway camp accomplishes! Whether it is a child overcoming a fear or a habit, becoming more open to new experiences, or older campers making a decision that they love camp but they are ready to more on next summer to a specialized and challenging experience since they will be in high school. It is all good.

The final days of camp are emotionally the best and the rawest. Nothing is more exciting than the final days of Color War, Olympics, or group sing. My kids yearned and looked forward to each summer their camp's silent dinner tradition during the camp's version of Color War. I still hear them talk about it to this day. Emotions are raw because every second counts these final days; it may be weeks or months before they reunite with their summer sisters or brothers. And as I have often shared, the camp bonds tend to be tighter than the friendships back home.

But the group who suffers the most are the graduating campers. While they looked forward each summer to more privileges and responsibilities, this culminating summer where they were the leaders is coming to the end; it really is their final summer as a camper. This is very hard for teens to grasp. I remember both my kids (and I have a girl and a boy) were extraordinarily sad for weeks (even months). To many kids this is harder than moving onto high school. A childhood phase comes to a close. But there is often a future opportunity to return as a staff member or counselor (but the camper status ends sadly.)

Transitions back home can be tough. Parents can't wait to pull their campers back into the real world, while the kids really want to remain campers and be back at camp. So parents, take it slow and read my top tips to help your kids (and you) transition back to home and school life.

And let's begin the countdown to next summer's camp start!