Everything Summer Blog

Teaching Kids Can-Do Skills

As a summer camp expert, I research and visit many, many camps and programs to learn more about them. The one thing I always look to understand is what kind of life skills they are being taught.

An article in today's NY Times, Big Tools for Little Hands, that discusses woodworking for kids, clearly struck me as a physical skill that teaches many wonderful life lessons. So many of the contributors offered sage advice, I want to share some of these wise nuggets:

• Kids spend too much time interacting with perfect interfaces that they need to understand how perfection is achieved by problem solving with their hands
• Give kids the opportunity to build and create things to allow them to express their imagination
• Children are inherently exploratory; previously limited by their imaginations, now it seems so to some extent by their parents
• Lenore Skenazy, of Free Range Kids, chimes in: we've sort of been brainwashed as a culture that our kids are the least competent generation to roam this earth. In every other era, the children were there to help the family survive, as soon as they could
• Parent and teacher supporters of woodworking skills believe they also teach students how to overcome setbacks
• Children are crying out for opportunities to use their creative mind to take creative risks. Woodworking and art supply that
• And the writer ends the article with: There are opportunities all over the country for children to learn building skills - including summer camps (yes!). But be forewarned: Participants may come home with an expanded sense of can-do!

Parents need to let go more and allow their kids to explore the world around them, 'build' their future. And let's face it, woodworking is also a lot of fun (it's one of my favorite areas to explore when I go camp touring:).

 

 

 

Abercrombie & Fitch Bikini and Camp

It's all over the media. The Abercrombie & Fitch bikini with a built-in push-up bra. Too much for 7 (to 14) year old girls? As a summer camp and youth expert, I think so.

NBC's Today Show and WPIX News this morning, to name just a few, covered this story. I am on the side of too much, too soon. I agree with the child development experts (Dr. Janet Taylor, Dr. Robyn Silverman); this is a teachable moment. But don't flaunt this story; that is likely what the store would like. Girls need to feel comfortable with and proud of who they are at all ages; bodies change dramatically once girls hit puberty and to think they should emulate bodies much older than they are is inappropriate.

When I visit camps each summer, I look especially to observe how girls are dressed, young girls, the teens and the staff, who are the younger girls role models. I also see which camps allow make-up. I applaud camps that don't allow two piece bathing suits - be it girls or coed camps. Uniforms can help with this issue.

Parents, especially moms, let your your daughters be children as long as they can. Once they start dressing in a more sophisticated manner, it is tough to turn the clock back (physically, emotionally, behaviorally and socially). Hold strong to your morals and values; your daughters will thank you when they get older.

Good Girls and Role Models

Yesterday's NY Times Magazine had as its cover story Good Girl, Miranda Cosgrove, an 'It Girl' teen influencer of School of Rock fame, and now iCarly. Not all teen idols can be good role models, but Miranda seems to be doing an effective job here.

With the entertainment companies creating teen idols, and the media pushing them further into the public eye, young girls become more impressionable. I see these idol promotional materials each summer when I visit camps. Miranda seems to live her life in a way that parents, including her own, can be proud and comfortable knowing other young girls are following and trying to emulate her.

I fell in love with Miranda as the take-charge young band manager in School of Rock, even then putting females in positive and strong leadership roles (teaching young girls they are capable and can be in charge). Camps work hard in this same area; and girls camps especially focus on the issues often central to pre-adolescent girls, such as mean girl syndrome, exclusion, appropriate body image/health and self esteem.

I hope this summer when I visit camps I see more posters and magazines full of stories and role model lessons about Miranda and other 'good girls.' Parents should try to enforce this by helping their kids pack bunk decorating images that represent good role models for their kids, camp friends and bunk-mates.

Parent Pride

As a summer camp, youth and parenting expert, I espouse my advice to clients always with my opinion and experience. And nothing comes close to a parent's pride overflowing when witnessing their child's growth and accomplishments.

And this was personal for me quite recently. My son came home on spring break the other week. While we had seen him only 7-8 weeks before, we did not expect him to be that different. But he was. Well, kind of. What I mean is changes we saw merely weeks ago were now cemented; a permanent part of his make-up. Handling disappointments due to illness, thinking through his upcoming school work and internship responsibilities, finding a new apartment, planning his productive summer, and more. He was doing this with self-motivation and self-initiative, not because of a parent's encouragement (or involvement, which would be wrong in my opinion). Our hearts and minds swelled with pride.

I can think back to when my kids returned home each summer from overnight camp. A mere 7 weeks away was really a lifetime in the leap of maturity with which they returned home. And despite a decade of experiencing this, we remained amazed each summer of their development; who they each became as older, wiser, more self-reliant and experienced children and teens.

I share with my parent clients that you need to embrace these changes and not fall prey to regressive behaviors of more coddling. The best assessment of how good a job we do as parents is to send our kids off into this world as independent thinkers and doers who know how to lead safe, healthy and happy lives. Most everything else falls into place, including those bumps and obstacles along the way that lead to more self-confidence and life lessons.

Free-Range Kids

Lenore Skenazy, author of Free-Range Kids, syndicated columnist and lecturer, and as she also refers to a phrase others use to describe her - 'the world's worst mom,' succinctly hits the mark when describing the four things that changed parenting to what it is today.

She shared her wit, humor and real NYC mom stories when helping all of us in the camp industry at the American Camp Association's tri-state conference yesterday, understand the shift in the parenting paradigm. Here are her points on what is responsible for today's parenting styles:

1. The media. Yes, they spread all the news!
2. Crime - statistics show there is a greater likelihood crimes are committed by people someone knows. We live in a litigious society.
3. Experts - too many telling us everything about how to raise our children today. Parents are supposed to consider every sentence out of our mouths before speaking to our kids.
4. Baby safety industrial complex - I love this one - beginning with baby knee pads!

Her mantre is all about raising safe, self-reliant kids (without going nuts with worry). And what is her suggested antidote???? CAMP!!!!! Yeah!!! Let's all spread the word about this (please)!!!!

 

Camp Parent Feedback

As a summer camp expert, the American Camp Association asked me to speak at their national and tri-state camp conferences recently about what's on the minds of overnight camp parents. Both conferences included directors with open ears eager to hear what parents shared with me.

The camp moms in my research were candid, open and very interested in my informing camp directors of what they think are good and bad camp practices, how directors can improve the camp research and selection process, and very importantly , what matters the most to parents (and kids) when making the overnight camp decision.

I recommended to all the camp directors in both sessions they need to reach out to parents more; they want their voices heard, and their opinions matter. In addition, as I am in both worlds of parents and camps, I plan to continue to represent both communities and communicate what is on the minds of everyone.